On a personal note...
So for those who don't know me very well, my name is Janet. I'm married to the love of my life who happens to be a firefighter and a US Army Reserves officer. We have 2 extremely intelligent, funny, sarcastic, and sometimes quirky boys. You probably don't know that I've had 2 open heart surgeries in my short 28 years of life, 1 very traumatic emergency c-section which caused me to flat line, and am limited physically due to my heart condition.
Growing up in a upper middle class community was probably harder due to my own insecurities. Everyone's opinion mattered to me, I did crash diets, went through bouts of anorexia, suffered from depression, lost more family/friends to death than any adolescent should, and just plain didn't feel like I fit in. Honestly, I still have a hard time with my appearance and my anxiety has grown over the years. Most people don't understand why I have issues because they just see some skinny Asian woman living the life not having to work a job outside the home and so on.
I recently learned more about my condition, transposition of the great arteries (TGA) through a support group than I any doctor could tell me. The members in the group understand my pain, the fatigue, random heart palpitations, the limitations of exercising, the anxiety, and the sweating.... oh my lord the sweating!!! Throughout middle school, high school, college, and even now I have been so extremely embarrassed about the uncontrollable sweating. I mean so bad that I might as well be in a sauna bubble 24/7. I hate wearing colors unless they are tank tops... I stick to black and white or something that won't show perspiration which honestly it doesn't even matter because it happens everywhere.... hands, back, face, chest, underarms... everywhere!!! It really is embarrassing but these members in the group get it. One of the members was told by his doctor that it's due to procedure we had (mustard). Our heart has to work 3x as hard and our sympathetic nervous system is compromised by it, making it over produce sweat. Truthfully when I read this I couldn't believe my eyes. Why had no other doctor given me that explanation before? Working out is a completely different story. I am only allowed to do pilates or yoga... something that is not a cardio workout. The dental procedures seem to never end due to the horrible circulation. My lips turn blue if I get just a little bit cold. I am not allowed to lift over 35lbs. I get out of breath easily.
The hardest part dealing with my congenital heart disease is the looks... the stares when I start sweating... the stares when I tell people I can't do something. 99% of the people I have met just have this confused look when I tell them my limitations and respond with one of 2... Well you don't look sick? OR You're too young to have limitations like that. The first response makes me livid... Yes, I don't look sick or ill but trust me when I tell you that going grocery shopping, carrying all the groceries inside, and than putting them away tires me out to no end. I need to sit and rest for a good half hour after a big grocery haul. The stares I get when I'm out and I am sweating.... super disturbing questions come up.... I've even had health professionals laugh at my sweatyness which I cried on my drive home. I've had swaps with people asking why I sweat so much and when told why they give me this look of... "seriously you're not sick like ill but sick like disgusting" I cry on the drive home from those swaps as well. This heart condition of mine will never go away. I may even need a transplant at some point in my life. The average lifespan for people with my heart condition is 40-50 years of age which only give me maybe 20 years left. I pray daily that somehow someone will come up with a magic heart that won't need daily rejection pills and won't fail until you've reach old status like in the 80s-90s. I pray that I will be able to watch both my children graduate high school and college, watch them get married, and even become a grandma someday. I pray that I can grow old with my husband and that we travel after he retires from the fire department. I pray and pray that my heart can just stay strong...
To divert my focus on my heart issues, my uncontrollable anxiety, and stress in general I started couponing. Living on single household income hasn't been easy. My husband and I have made many sacrifices, we've strategically planned out what our next big purchases will be, cut corners when we could on costs, make things ourselves, really anything to stay within our 1 income budget without having to go into too much debt. We eat out as a family maybe three times a month, I only buy things that are on sale/clearance (the only exception to that is produce/meat), I shop at second hand shops for clothing not just for our boys but for myself as well, and I coupon.... COUPONS are key!!! We conducted an experiment where I didn't coupon for a month a few years ago because my husband Jon didn't think I really was saving money doing this. The results spoke for themselves. We ended up spending almost $400 more that month which almost doubles our monthly budget for groceries and household which is $450 a month. No, I do not spend all $450 each and every month, sometimes I have a little extra but there are those rare months I'm extremely grateful for a understanding husband who doesn't hold a grudge for my over spending that month. I read up on the average cost of food for a family of 4 which ranges from $650.50-$1293.10 and that is just for groceries!!! Honestly when you break it down $162 a week to feed a family of 4 on the lower end of the range isn't too bad. When broken down I spend $112.50 a week on my shopping trips and about $75-$90 is on food depending on the coupons I have and what sales are going on. This is more than enough to feed my family and build a stockpile at the same time. There are times I only spend $50 one week and then $150 the following week. It all really just depends on the sales and coupons. I've had strangers in grocery stores ask how I trained my boys to not want everything in sight and ask "is this on sale?" "do you have a coupon for this?".... I guess it just happened naturally just from our grocery trips and my specific lists saying what was on sale and pairing that item with a coupon. So no, we don't have a huge house, 2 vehicles, or go out to eat twice a week... but my family has never gone without a roof over our heads, clothing on our backs, and a food in our bellies.
Now that y'all have gotten to know me... I must now get my boys ready for bed. Goodnight!
No comments:
Post a Comment